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Written by Leslie Karsner
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Providing counseling services from a Christian perspective in the Indianapolis area for more than 10 years.
By Sue Atkins. Ive been enjoying the fantastic weather and juggling writing with being a Butlins Redcoat for my own kids on holiday from school, and it got me thinking about the way I communicate with my teenage son and my 13 year old, going on 25 year old, daughter!Communication can dry up during adolescence which is why people identify so much with Harry Enfields Kevin and Perry characters and thats why the teenage stage has often been called the grunt stage but communication is a two-way process. Its what we want and think, and what our teenagers want and think. Most of us are great at talking but less good at listening and understanding and we often only half listen to our kids. Here are some classic ways to switch off your teenager:Asking too many questionsWhy did you say that? What did you say?Being bossyDo your homework right now and dont argueLecturingYou should know better at your ageCriticising/ShamingHow could you be so stupid?PityingIm so sorry for you, you poor thing
Leslie Morgan Steiner has written a book called The Mommy Wars,
that is helpf ul for new parents who are concerned whether they are making the right choices for their children. Often, new moms come to my office feeling guilty about working vs. staying home. Additionally many stay at home moms worry feel guilty about taking time for themselves and finding the balance between parenting and not losing who they are. The book is a series of essays written by mothers (mostly upper middle class), primarily addressing the issue of to work outside the home or stay home. It is a good illustration of how many different ways there are to parent.
The rules do change a bit with a teenager but the basics remain the same. For some insight in dealing with the surliness of the teenager along with some humor, read: Get Out of My Life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall? By Anthony E.Wolf, PhD. It provides an overview of adolescent behavior, which normalizes it and frames it in the realm of developmental tasks. It also does a nice job of identifying the hooks that teenagers consciously and unconsciously use to bait parents. It reminds parents of what they can and cannot control in their teens lives. When I first read this book, I thought the examples were extreme but as my own child grew into the teen years, they became more realistic.
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