Get Ready for Romance

In well-functioning families, there is an intact generational boundary.

What does this mean? Between the children and the adults in the family, there is an unseen dividing line. This lines acts more as a semi-permeable membrane than a brick walI. It means that some information passes between the generations and some does not. And it means that some informationcan be requested or expectedfrom adults of children but that children may not have the same expectation.

While this line is invisible, its presence is clear when parents ensure that there are differences between them and their children in the family. Here are some ways this can be demonstrated:

1. Parents can direct children, but children do not direct parents.

2. Parents can demand information from children of the sort that children cannot demand of parents.

3. Children have a bed time that can be established by the parents, not the other way around.

4. Parents may insist that children eat certain foods that they don't care for; children can't do the same with their parents.

5. Parents may demand explanations from children of the sort that children may not of parents.

6. Parents can ask questions of their children that their children may not ask of them.

When this understanding is unclear, problems tend to develop in families. For example, when couples are divorcing there may be a tendency to share inappropriate information with a child about the other parent or aspects of the parents' relationship problems.

In single-parent families there can be an understandable tendency to share more with a child than is wise because of the absence of a co-parent.

Two-parentfamilies with no significant marital strife are not immune from this tendency. Theymust guard against the possibility of their children crossing that generational boundary an assuming a role alongside It’s a beautiful hot summer day, yet some people just can’t get out of bed. Depression is more than just a one day case of the blues. How can you distinguish depression from grief or a bad day and what do you do if you determine that you or someone you love is depressed? Depression vs. Grief Suffering any type of loss, be it a death, break up or even a move from one location to another is bound to bring up feelings of sadness. There may even be crying spells, loss of appetite and an inability to concentrate. While these symptoms can also signal major depression, the intensity and duration distinguish them from a depressive episode. A grief reaction may last several months to a year but one will notice that symptoms diminish with time. With major depression, symptoms stay the same or worsen and there is also a preoccupation with worthlessness, as well as suicidal ideation. There may be physical agitation and a loss or gain of weight. Those who are depressed feel that life is no longer worth living and find no joy in any activity. What to Do? True clinical depression requires treatment. Up to 15% of individuals with severe major Depressive Disorder die by Suicide (DSM IV). If you or someone you know feels depressed, the first step is to see your physician who can prescribe an anti-depressant or refer you to a psychiatrist. In addition, it has been shown that the combination of medication and psycho therapy can improve depressive symptoms in the long term. Depending on the issues, therapy can address family and personal concerns as well as provide ways to modify one’s thought process to lessen the potential for future episodes. What else helps? If you are the person who is depressed, it is important to take care of yourself physically. Sleep patterns are often altered so getting enough rest might not be a problem. Rather, it is important to get out of bed regularly and get some exercise. Even a simple walk outside will be helpful in lifting mood. Eating balanced meals is often a challenge since loss of appetite is a symtom yet dehydration and lack of nutrition can worsen depressive symptoms
Laurie Freeman, LMFT (http://www.lauriebfreeman.com) is a licensed family therapist with a practice on the northside of Indianapolis, IN. She specializes in family and play therapy but also has extensive experience with couples and individual clients. Training includes a Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy from the Christian Theological Seminary Training Center in Indianapolis. Laurie has also received additional training in play therapy and participates in ongoing play therapy supervision. She has worked for 5 years at the CTS Counseling Center Clinic in addition to her more recent private practice. Other counseling experience includes 2 years of volunteer work as a Guardian Ad Litem for Child Advocates in Indianapolis. Laurie is a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapist and is a member of the Association for Play Therapy. She has also volunteered for several community events including a panel on guilt for the Greater Indianapolis Jewish Federation and a parenting panel for Hadassah. Counseling is a second career for Laurie. Prior to this training she has worked in sales and sales management for Prentice Hall College and Macmillan Computer publishing. This earlier career provided much life experience to add to her formalized training. Personally, Laurie is married and the mother of two teenaged children which additionally provides a wealth of practical experience. Laurie publishes a quarterly newsletter which may be accessed on this site and can provide information on areas of specialization as well as provide a sense of Laurie's style and counseling orientation.

Share Your Opinion. (0 posts)

Tag it: