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The Burden of Depression PDF Print E-mail
Written by Leslie Karsner   
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It’s a beautiful hot summer day, yet some people just can’t get out of bed. Depression is more than just a one day case of the blues. How can you distinguish depression from grief or a bad day and what do you do if you determine that you or someone you love is depressed? Depression vs. Grief Suffering any type of loss, be it a death, break up or even a move from one location to another is bound to bring up feelings of sadness. There may even be crying spells, loss of appetite and an inability to concentrate. While these symptoms can also signal major depression, the intensity and duration distinguish them from a depressive episode. A grief reaction may last several months to a year but one will notice that symptoms diminish with time. With major depression, symptoms stay the same or worsen and there is also a preoccupation with worthlessness, as well as suicidal ideation. There may be physical agitation and a loss or gain of weight. Those who are depressed feel that life is no longer worth living and find no joy in any activity. What to Do? True clinical depression requires treatment. Up to 15% of individuals with severe major Depressive Disorder die by Suicide (DSM IV). If you or someone you know feels depressed, the first step is to see your physician who can prescribe an anti-depressant or refer you to a psychiatrist. In addition, it has been shown that the combination of medication and psycho therapy can improve depressive symptoms in the long term. Depending on the issues, therapy can address family and personal concerns as well as provide ways to modify one’s thought process to lessen the potential for future episodes. What else helps? If you are the person who is depressed, it is important to take care of yourself physically. Sleep patterns are often altered so getting enough rest might not be a problem. Rather, it is important to get out of bed regularly and get some exercise. Even a simple walk outside will be helpful in lifting mood. Eating balanced meals is often a challenge since loss of appetite is a symtom yet dehydration and lack of nutrition can worsen depressive symptoms During the holiday break, there are many opportunities to read, one of my favorite hobbies. One of the books I chose was Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking. Joan writes of the year after her husband’s sudden death when she is also dealing with the serious illness of her only daughter. In addition to the topic of grief, Didion handles the lack of control we feel about the events that occur in our lives; made all the more potent in the illusion that at some point we did have control. Her description of the grieving process beautifully captures its non-linear, non-predictable nature. Ms. Didion is a highly educated published writer yet the denial and pain of the grief is illustrated by her unwillingness to give away John’s shoes after his death, “ in case he needs them.” Reading this account of grief, brings to mind all of the other things we grieve in our lives. Grief in this case is the loss of a mate through death but the feelings of grief may also occur with the loss of a relationship, such as a divorce or break up. It might also occur when we lose the idea of a relationship that we thought should have been a certain way but wasn’t, like a relationship with a parent or a sibling. The grief that occurs when we process these types of losses may not come on as suddenly as that of a death but may be processed in a similar manner.Didion gives a personal voice to the process and her book is as much a love story and tribute to her relationship with her husband as it is a study of her process. There is much to be heard in this book at many levels. At Lotus Group, we see potential. We see it in every client who comes through the door. We see it in every family that - purely out of love - does what it takes to make life better. We know how hard it is to heal. We also know that working to create healthy, growing relationships might just be the most rewarding act a person can ever do.Serving central Indiana including Indianapolis, Fishers, Carmel, Anderson, Greenwood, Noblesville, Plainfield, Westfield, Franklin, Brownsburg, Greenfield, Muncie, Zionsville, Danville and Avon As an ex and second wife, mom and stepmom, for nearly 9 years, I've had A LOT of practice when it comes to dealing with divorce, remarriage and the blended family. In addition to my real life experience, I am also nationally certified to deal with this specific area of marriage and family counseling. Having worked closely with Dr. Jeannette Lofas, President of the Stepfamily Foundation, who received a Presidential Award for 30 years of her work with stepfamilies, and the only organization that certifies individuals for work in this specific area; I am a firm believer that families dealing with these types of issues needs a very specific type of therapist. My clients get a therapist who has walked and continues to walk in their shoes and therefore; can completely relate to what they are going through and offer solutions to help. Whether you just got a divorce and are in need of a co-parenting plan; are about to get remarried and are in need of an entry plan; or are currently immersed in your blended family and are in need of a recovery plan; I create customized plans that allow you to manage your family system and create harmony within your blended family unit. Feeling stressed? Getting angry a lot? Problems in your relationship? I am a therapist who can help by talking with you via email, phone or office visits. I also provide e-courses for stress and anger management. I also provide coaching services for truckers who are on the road for weeks at a time. I do this via phone and email so they can stay on the road and have access to a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

An recent survey of American kids revealed some fascinating facts.

The question asked of kids was: "What do you want from your parents?" The top two answers would probably surprise most parents.

One response was that kids want their parents to spend more time with them. Not necessarily time spent in active, stimulating activities, but simply having their parents around. The mere presence of parents seems to be stabilizing for children. No surprise here, but many parents might be startled to discover that kids take some comfort from having parents involved in their lives. Not coaching their team or haggling over homework, but casual interaction.

The second thing kids said was, in essence, "Just tell us what to do." In other words, forget the long explanations or logical rationales for what you wish them to do--simply tell them.

This finding dovetails precisely with the advice I have been giving parents for decades--"Save your breath." Avoid the lecturing and sermonizing, as well as the carping, nagging, threatening, cajoling, and hectoring. Just state the expectation. This doesn't guarantee compliance, but it certainly increases its likelihood.

So, enjoy some time with your kids and say a lot less.


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